Pending divorce and withering faith

by Reginald
(Virginia)

My wife and I have been together for almost 8 years but have only been married for almost 2. We have 2 children, One 14 (from her previous marriage) and one 4 years old.

Before we were married, I sinned against her but once married I decided to dedicate myself to her and the marriage. I sometimes found myself struggling with the past and talking with women in a way that I should not have but I always knew what was important.

We started to attend church together as a family and that is when the trouble began. The closer we tried to get with God, the more turmoil came into our home.

Nine months ago my wife began an affair with a man that she worked with. I found out about this in July and forgave her and him and asked her to stop and lean more towards God. This fell on deaf ears. Needless to say the relationship continued and continues til this very moment. Somehow she has become loyal to him and despises me.

I have prayed to God to restore my marriage but my faith is not what it used to be. I find myself wanting to just give up. Something is telling me that prayer is just a waste of time and that God does not really care. I try not to listen but it's starting to overwhelm me. I'm not certain how long I can hold out before darkness takes over.

What is it that I'm doing wrong?

Am I not worthy of his time?

Am I not worthy of His love?

I'm thankful for what I have and the Blessings I have received. I have my health, job and life but I'm not as strong as Jesus was when He walked the earth. I read the Bible and listen to Christian radio everyday. What is it that I'm doing wrong?

Please pray for me and my family that God has pity on me and shows mercy. If possible, please respond to my story.