Love, What Is It Really?
The Bible has a lot to say on this topic. The Bible itself is a passionate letter from your Creator revealing His affection for you and Himself to you. He's crazy about you!
Jesus said there is no greater love than being willing to lay down ones own life for another (John 15:13). That is exactly what Jesus did for you (John 3:16). He surrendered his own life so you can be reconciled to God through the forgiveness of your sins. Jesus demonstrated agape (sacrificial love).
Society, with Satan’s help, often confuses it with lust. Lust, by the way, is a selfish desire that has no concern whatsoever with the object of that lust. Agape is not selfish. Nor is its primary concern meeting its own needs. It is not about finding someone who gives you everything you want and need. It is directed outward toward others not inward toward yourself.
Many of us would be in a different place right now if we understood and demonstrated such selflessness in our marriages and other relationships. You may find it interesting to take a minute and read the Fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23. You will see that love is the first fruit. That means our ability to have agape comes from God and the indwelling Holy Spirit. Left to ourselves, we are going to default to selfishness every time.
It is something God gives us the ability to do. Therefore, God should always be first and foremost in our lives; then our marriage, children etc.
Have you ever flown on a plane? During the safety instructions before take off, they always tell parents to put on their oxygen first. Why? Because if they are not breathing, they won’t be able to help their kids! Well the same is true of love. If you are not first connected to God, you are not able to be sacrificially and selflessly devoted to others.
What Does It Look Like?Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.1 Corinthians 13:4-7It is patient. Let’s face it; there are things about each one of us that irritate others. We all make mistakes. We must learn to be patient with each other. When someone provokes us, we must be patient. Thank God for the Holy Spirit! Like many other things, your capacity for patience increases the closer you get to God.
It is kind. Want to build someone up – be kind to them and treat them with respect. Want to tear someone down – be unkind, call them names, put them down and mistreat them. When we fail to be kind to each other, we whittle away at each others self worth and destroy our relationships in the process.
It does not envy. It celebrates the successes of others instead of being jealous of not having experienced the same success.
It is not proud and does not boast. It recognizes that all things are given by God. Without God, we are nothing and would have nothing. Instead of boasting, love demonstrates a spirit of thankfulness and humility.
It is not rude. It is considerate of others and their needs.
It is not self-seeking. It is not about “what can I get out of this?” It is interested in others and will assist others even at their own expense.
It is not easily angered. It endures being slighted and insulted. Instead of flying off the handle at every little thing, it considers that there may be more to the situation than meets the eye and gives others the benefit of the doubt.
It keeps no record of wrongs. It does not bring up every mistake their spouse has ever made every time they have an argument. When God forgives us, he removes all record of our wrong. We need to do the same.
It does not celebrate evil but rejoices in the truth. Humanity has a mean streak that takes pleasure in evil, especially if it brings some personal benefit. The movie industry, video game industry and the media capitalize on that mean streak all the time. Love however, is grieved by the misfortune of others and instead celebrates truth.
It protects. It can cover a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8) It doesn’t needlessly broadcast the failures of others even though it is firm in giving godly discipline when needed. It hides or conceals the faults of others.
It always trusts. It thinks highly of others unless proven otherwise. It tries to put things in the best light possible.
It always hopes. It looks to the good instead of being negative and critical. It desires all things to work out for the best.
It always perseveres. It endures persecution and mistreatment.
Obviously, perfection would demand all these qualities be present 100% of the time. Not very realistic is it?
God shares this with you so you can know what love looks like.
Why would he want to do that?
The example of love the world gives falls far short of what it really is. The passage in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 serves as your GPS (Godly positioning system). It helps you weigh and examine where you are and what you are doing against where you could be (like Jesus) so you can recogize areas needing adjustment.
Let's say you find yourself getting angry first and asking questions later. You can glance at your GPS and see what God says about not being easily angered. Once you understand where you are off course, you can
pray
about it - confess your anger and ask for the Holy Spirit to help you control it.
How similar is the love you give and receive to the love described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7? If you know God's love, how has it helped you love others?
What does God say about Marriage?
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