Going on 2nd month of separation

by Scott
(Traverse City, MI)

Hi all.

I have been married for nearly 10 years, but have been with my wife for almost 15. Back in April of this year, she filed for divorce.

Two years prior to that, we sought help for our marriage with counseling. I took it as a joke and thought I could fix it myself. I was wrong.

Now that I am in this crisis, I have put the work in and understanding of my wrong doings in the marriage. I love my wife very much and made a huge mistake by not getting on board 2 years ago. Now that I am on board, she resents me and does not want to save this marriage, even though I do.

We have a 4 and 6 year old as well. We have been, for the past 2 months, doing a rotation with the kids. Two days I would have them and the next 2 days she would have them. It's very hard to be away from them. They stay at the home and when I have to leave or my wife, we either stay at friends homes or our parents.

I am in the process of doing what they call a no contact rule. I do not contact her, unless it pertains to the kids. This time also allows me to heal and try and move on with my life. In return, I hope she realizes life without me and starts to have second thoughts.

She still contacts me with text messages, which are irrelevant statements, but none the less, I let her initiate contact. I do not respond unless it's related to the kids. She wants the divorce, so I see no sense in replying or contacting her text messages. Is this a good idea?

Any other thoughts on how I may be able to salvage this marriage which seems hopeless?

I have 100 days left before the court hearing. I have done extensive research, reached out to people, and even continuing counseling. I am letting her go and placing everything in God's hands. Any suggestions is much appreciated.