Friends and Family,
Can They Offer The
Divorce Support You Need?

The great thing about friends and family is they love you. The difficult thing about them in the middle your marriage crisis is, they love you. They don’t want you to get hurt. Because they do not want to see you hurt, they may be very quick to encourage you to give up on your marriage so your spouse won’t hurt you again.

When it comes to family, less is more. If you tell your loved ones every rotten thing your spouse has ever said, done and thought; how they have mistreated you, hurt you and made your life miserable, it will be hard for them to forget all of that if your marriage is restored. Their instinct is to protect you. So, use discernment in what details you share with your family.

Talking to friends will also require some discernment. Some people will be a listening ear all day long if it gives them something to tell others. Be careful what you share with such people. If the things you have discussed do not paint your spouse in a favorable light and what you have said gets back to them, it is bound to make reconciliation more difficult.

Friendships you share with your spouse can be tricky too. Some will resist being put in the middle and will not want to discuss it at all. Some may harvest information and travel back and forth between the two of you stirring up more trouble – intentionally or not. Some, however, may be able to listen to both sides and remain impartial, loving you both in your time of need.

Family and friends, knowing you are having marital difficulties, are separated or are going through a divorce can love love you, pray for you and support you without knowing all the details. There are lots of other sources of unbiased help that will offer a listening ear and encouragement like mature members of your church family a pastor, support groups, or a Christian Counselor. You need to take that step to healing by reaching out to others.

Have Your Friends and Family Been Supportive?

Or, have they made the situation worse? Have they done anything to "help" that caused more pain and difficulties then if they had not helped? Sharing your story can assist others in helping their friends and family or encourage others who are experiencing similar "good intentions help".

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