Your Church Can
Offer You Support

Church, for some, will be a place of refuge, love and support while they go through a divorce. For others, their experience may be one of feeling judged and ostracized. Regardless of what your experience is, the Bible tells us not to stop meeting together (Hebrews 10:25). It is even more important to gather with other Christians as you face trials in your life.

The second part of that verse in Hebrews 10:25 says to encourage one another. The type of encouragement you need is to know that God still loves you and others still love you. You can be encouraged by people who will listen to you, pray with you and for you and even cry with you if the situation calls for it.

I have been a part of a small prayer group for many years that meets weekly. Over the years, we have had many people come in and join us for a time while going through a crisis in their life. It has been an honor to have had the opportunity to pray with them and comfort them in their time of need. If you are not already part of a small group, ask your pastor if he can recommend a group that you could meet with that would be willing to pray with you and encourage you.

You can also be encouraged in the knowledge that Jesus knows and understands the pain of rejection (John 1:11) and sorrow (Matthew 26:38) and whatever feelings you are working through. He is always with you (Matthew 28:20), always listening to you and always interceding for you (Romans 8:34) with the Father.

If you are feeling judged and ostracized by your home church, it may be that they are still wrestling with how to encourage people who are going through a divorce. Often when people don’t know what to say, they will say things that make the situation worse or offer pat answers to very difficult problems.

You may find you need to step back from your home church and go to another church for a time to heal. There is no shame in that. The wounds and hurt of divorce can be so deep that you may find you need some anonymity while you participate in corporate worship. God will feed and heal your heart and soul wherever his Word is preached.

If your estranged spouse is still attending your home church, you may find it difficult to focus on God knowing they are sitting in the same room. The early stages of divorce can be emotionally overwhelming. Just the sight of your spouse can stir up a variety of emotions that you are not prepared to deal with, nor do you want to deal with them in the middle of a worship service.

If God has called you to be a part of your home fellowship of believers, your leave of absence should be a temporary one. You will need to work with your pastor , your church family and your counselor (if you are seeing one) to move to a stage in your divorce recovery where you are able to return to active fellowship.

There is no set period of time in which this divorce healing should be accomplished. It may vary from a couple of weeks to several months. However, if a year or more have passed and you still burst into tears at the sight of your estranged spouse, you may be stuck and not healing. You may want to consider going to a Christian Counselor and getting help to work through your emotions and thoughts.

You may also find that the place of refuge God led you to for your time of divorce healing is where he wants you to stay. Ultimately you will need to spend time in prayer and ask God where he wants you to attend and serve.

The bottom line is – Do Not Stop Going to Church! (Hebrews 10:25) It may difficult, but if you get out of the habit of gathering with God’s people in a time of crisis when you need them the most, you likely will not return when life seems good again. Many a family has been lost to the ways of the world because a hurt, an offense, or a time of crisis was just the opportunity the devil needed to lead them away from the rest of the flock.

Do you Feel Like Your Church is Being Supportive?

Or, do you feel like they have turned on you? Tell us your story of how your church family reacted in your time of crisis. You may be surprised to find others have experienced the same feelings.

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